superdad @ supermarket

so i was walking around in a chinese supermarket at the tender age of 7 with my parents who were busily searching for the ingredients of tonight's dinner. on the other hand, i, like any 7 year old boy, was busily searching for ways to cause havoc with the little time in which my parents were distracted with dead animals and fresh produce.

i quickly headed for the produce section, away from my parents' protective eyes. i took bundles of chinese vegetables of all shapes and sizes and hid them amongst the non perishable snacks sections, that was sure to cause SOME form of trouble for SOMEONE eventually... seeking more exciting forms of destruction, i headed to the fish sections. now, there's something you have to undestand about chinese supermarkets. if a health inspector were to walk in at any moment and check the fish section of a chinese supermarket, he would most likely die of shock and/or outrage. yes, it's that messy.

anyways, i headed to the fish section and found to my delight, a box full of live crabs which customers would remove from the box for purchase with the use of tongs. seeing the opportunity, i grabbed a crab and dropped it into a large tank of live fish. excellent... that's GOT to get SOMEONE riled up eventually. and then i spotted it... the ultimate chance to cause one worker of the supermarket severe amounts of pain, anger, and trouble. i'm obviously talking about the large vats/bins/barrels of beans. if it were only one TYPE of bean, then i'd be screwed, luckily for me there were MULTIPLE types of beans there for me to mess around with. i practically ran to the vats and began shovelling large quantities of red beans into the vat of green beans, of pistachios into the vat of red beans, and so forth until the vats were indistinguishable from one another.

just as i was celebrating my triumph and success of my mission, a nearby fish butcher yelled out in vulgar chinese:

"HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing kid?!"

if you didn't know, a grown up's yelling is equivalent to thunder when you're 3 feet tall. at that moment, i had decided to piss my pants and call it a day but before i could do that i hear an even louder voice, like God's except more indignant...

"WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD TALK TO MY SON LIKE THAT?!"

i wheeled around in time to see my dad close his mouth, offended and angry - and in all his glory. see, for me it was like, "What the hell?! Did that just happen?! Wow..." NORMALLY, my dad only yelled at me, so just hearing him yell without a Carl [or gah hoa] attached to it threw me off. and then i realised that he was yelling at the fish dude and i was screaming inside:

"YES! WOOHOO! GO DAD! YOU SHOW HIM WHO'S -!" my dad interrupted me and dragged me off and into the car. apparently he and mom had finished paying for their goods when they noticed that their one and only, precious jewel of a son had gone missing. my dad had gone crazy looking for me throughout the supermarket when he'd spotted a familiar figure messing around with the crabs. he had watched from a distance what i had done and didn't even say anything when i messed up the beans to kingdom-come. but he came in and saved the day when he saw that i was utterly screwed to save my bottom. and THEN, he punished me to teach me a lesson. although... i could've done without the "no tv for a week" but oh well...