info @ the P.Pole 07.31.06

In keeping with my spamming of lyrics + mp3s of late, this week's info session's gonna go down a little bit differently. Music is quite a great way of communication. At least I think so anyway. Have fun, ev'ryone.

5 parts that I noted from the following song:
I walk the line, leave it all behind.
I've been waiting forever. Let's go back in time,
When I could read your mind. Still, I've been waiting...

It took the seasons going by,
To know its not my fault.

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest,
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted.
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter,
Tried to be everything, but you...

Its been so long since you've been home.
I used to wait up forever, I used to say a prayer,
Wishing you were there. And I'm still waiting...

You told me once you'd show up,
But I fell for that before I fell to pieces.
Then I woke up to no one:
Just a picture of Jesus,
And a house left in pieces.

I wanted you. I need you.
I want to believe you.
- Hawk Nelson, Everything You Ever Wanted
As usual, click title for track. Enjoyus theus tuneus.

Fog of War

Today they asked me, "What do you always seem to find?"
But though I could not answer -- I'd have lost my way --
I could tell that this ain't right.
The morning sunrise seemed to ask me why I tried
To find the strength in people who had never thought about a different way of life...
It just doesn't seem that easy.

I don't know where to go.
I don't know what to be.
I don't know how to change from being me.
I don't know what to say.
Maybe another day,
I'll stop getting lost and find my way home.
All I know is gone...

But the storms of weather: you know they don't seem to be as bad
If you think there's hope from here and there's a life you should now have.
I don't have answers and no questions spring to mind,
So here I've ended up now. There's no more signs and the roads are blocked.
Aw, man... It just doesn't seem that easy.
- The Lost Prophets, I Don't Know

What a foggy little while it's been. I think it's cool when "non-Christian" (oh how I hate that term) artists unconsciously (or maybe not I guess, who knows) come up with music that more accurately describes a Christian's life than most of the "Christian music" out there. Maybe that's just because the amount of acting that the "non-Christian" (damn that damnable term) society puts up with is a lot less than that of most Christian circles. Then again, there's a good deal of facading that goes on everywhere regardless. I think you do it. I think they do it. I think we do it. I know I do it. : P Man, I'm such a bitter little turkey. It sucks but it's true.
Anyhoo, enjoy the tune (click title as usual).

All Good Things Must Come To An End

So it's about nap time for me right now, and I'm festering here in this place I call home (for now -- i.e. the next 2 years at least). I think I'm still suffering from an extreme case of post-TC syndrome, only, it's for post-Longlac. I miss the guys from Cornerstone and the random joking at Tony's expense. I miss not doing anything specific yet getting so much more done than normal. I miss the swims at Pamela Lake and sleeping in the church basement. I think I miss the people up there the most. The children are friends and peers -- the ones I was drawn to anyway. Sure, the little ones are cute and everything, but the older ones that I got to know were ever so interesting. I like people watching. It was fun to just take walks and talks with maybe two or three of whoever's out around the reserve and observe their mannerisms and behaviour -- as I'm sure that that's what they were doing to us whether consciously or not. I miss promising Marty to come back after dinner and bugging Megan about Chris. I think I might even be missing the pinching and poking (not so much the "hump-by-a-moose"ing). I wonder what they're up to. Probably walking to the convenience store and buying slushies. Or maybe playing cops and robbers in the bushes. I just wish I could be there instead of here. I'm finding myself totally bored and apathetic with the things of Toronto. The concerns of city life are completely bogus.
Anyway, enjoy the song (click title).

info @ the P.Pole 07.24.06

5 things i received from Longlac:

• Julia's hand-made bead cross
• Brittney and Megan's mixed CD
• Marty's ring and bracelets
• short notes to me from friends
• email addresses

So basically, I got back from Longlac last Sunday. I haven't posted anything about it so far nor do I really ever intend on doing so. I personally don't think public sharing of stuff is very useful. It doesn't seem right to me in my mind, I don't know why though. It's also too hard to correctly relate something like the Trip on a blog post. Many people have already asked me how the Trip was, and I've pretty much given them all the same response: It was good. That's pretty much as much as most people actually want to hear and as much as I feel like saying to most people so it works out. It was good, interesting, tiring, draining, fun, and rewarding, along with a lot of other stuff too. I am comforted, however, that emotional was one thing that the Trip wasn't. Well, sure there were times when I felt glad, or sad, but nothing like, you know, off the deep end.
So I actually want to share a little teeny bit about my take on the Trip here, just because I never did anywhere else though I was given the opportunities -- again, I don't know why I chose not to. I didn't go to Longlac expecting a life changing experience, or to see what God was doing, or to play with children, or to make friends, or to have fun, or to learn, or to etc... I went not really expecting anything just because God is unexpectable. Yam said it quite rightly in my mind when he said, "Our job isn't to come prepared. We can only make sure we're ready and willing to hear God's voice and then to do it." We can't possibly know the future or plan everything out because God is spontaneous and will probably not follow our plans. Ministry can't be contained to a grid on paper, I don't think. Anyway, about all that stuff I wasn't expecting to necessarily happen happened as by-products of going up and not seeking them out. It was good that way. And that's all until further notice.