Can I get a "Woohoo!" for mortality?!

[...]

I want to hold your little hand --
If I can be so bold --
And be your right hand man,
'til your hands get old.
And then when all the feeling's gone,
Just decide if you want to keep holding on.
I want to hold your little hand --
If I can be so bold.

- The White Stripes, Hypnotize

And so you have come one more mile.
I pray, for many more you'll smile.
Frankly, I'm thankly to the Lord,
'Cause without you, I'd be so bored.

A happy birthday to la fille du forehead.

Pun Intend'd

High up on you- you display,
Good traits, though few.
We've found, time alone will tell.
This disease, keeps me holding me down.

Try to run (when near sleep),
To imagine (us away).
He said, "Come, fly around my hell.
And know this: you seem to be
Too scared to run."

Too scared, to run,
Too scared...

Wish I had your faults;
Nothing seems to phase you.
Lies, you're much more than just human.

I was high up on you,
'Til the shadows, began to crawl.
Some say, "We can never know
From just how far down
This beast has come."

Too scared, to run.

Wish I had your faults...

- Chevelle, An Evening With El Diablo

Chevelle almost always seems to strike a chord.

info @ the P.Pole 11.28.05

short post, before i off to relax.

5 things that happened today:

• started reading I Was Just Wondering by Philip Yancey
• realized just how boring school really is
• started reeling from headache
• finished my essay
• discovered that i've had a subconscious appreciation / fetish for vampiric teeth all along (like my hair fetish)

what part of getting your blood sucked isn't a turn-on? biting, blood, what more could you ask for? i know, that sounds like something Angelina Jolie would say but hey, i wouldn't mind, as long as she was a fempire and one without STD's. safety first, kids.

EDIT: Angelina Jolie? Hehehe... She's very pretty. *winks*

How was your week?

Woooooooo... What a week. Well right now I'm feeling pretty good (yeah, I know, I'm shocked too). Let's see... I don't actually remember a lot of this past week -- maybe that's why it's been a good one... -__-" I do remember having a lot of work and whatnot. I also remember a little pre-lab quiz i took today.
Apparently I was supposed to read up on a set of instructions for a lab to be conducted today. Well, needless to say I didn't (because it slipped my mind, probably because I was slaving over an essay last night) and so I was completely unprepared for it. The questions were: "Describe the positive test for Oxygen.", "What's the name of the indicator used to test for acidity?", "How many drops of this indicator will be used?", and "What substance will the metals be introduced into?". I somehow, by the grace of God, guessed 3/4 answers. Glowing splint test, (blank), 3 drops, and water were my answers. I got all three of my answers that I'd guessed right and my friend, who actually read up on it, now hates me for it. I didn't guess that the second answer was "**phenalphthalein", but hey, that's just a bit TOO fluky if I'd 'guessed' that.
I've also been required to thesis-ize and outline-ate my essay in one night, and write the entire first draft the night after. That was actually not that bad, despite me sleeping at eleven (sort of late for me) for a couple nights in a row. Well, my essay is looking pretty solid so far -- I chose a good topic with a variety of well supported points -- so I'm not too worried about it.
Not such a great topic without much supporting evidence is the fact that some people at my school have a certain... je ne sais quoi... for me. I actually find it a bit ironic that these people -- other guys, if I'm not mistaken / misinformed -- dislike me because a) I do well in school, and/or b) I do not particularly socialize with them. Now if they were of the touchy kind of girls that believe it to be a contemptible offence to not talk to them, I'd feel at least a little sorry. However, they most definitely are not delicate females, which only further urges me on to laugh at their presumptions. Apparently, not only do men now wear make-up, they can now act like women. What a world we live in, huh? Apparently, I am arrogant, antisocial, and a nazi by trade.
Hm, now I wonder... what did I ever do to deserve such labels? I'm not particularly bugged about such remarks (though I am blogging about it for lack of juicier material) but I want to try and figure out what part of my day to day, mind - my - own - business and keep - to - myself ways would instigate such hostility... Maybe they think that because I don't particulary choose their company over that of my two great school "say-dong"s [kinda like... "death brothers" in chinese], I am now, by polarization, opposed to... them being alive? Haha, that's pretty funny.

Johnny boy always played the fool.
He broke all the rules,
So you would think he was cool.

He was never really one of the guys,
No matter how hard he tried.
Often thought of suicide.

It's kind of hard when you ain't got no friends.
He put his life to an end;
They might remember him then.

You crossed the line and there's no turning back.
Told the world how he felt
With the sound of a gat.

- P.O.D., Youth Of The Nation (excerpt)

Sadly, I don't think that they've learned what I've learned: that one needs not receive [any] attention from another [whatsoever] to be on good terms with them. I seriously have nothing against these people, and I had even tried to befriend them (as they were new) in the first weeks of school. Adversely -- and much to my chagrin (I love that word) -- they decided from these very first (and what I would think to be better than normal) impressions of my character that I am arrogant and insolent. How did that happen? Beats me, but that's alright. That's what I get for reaching out and actually making an effort towards being charming and friendly. :T Okay, so this does bug me -- just a little bit -- but it is out of my hands.
Moving right along, tomorrow will be Sandwich Run, which I have high hopes for. I don't know why, as I'd think that someone as cold as I would not enjoy such activities. I was and am however, quite drawn to the running of the bread + filler. It's just a great feeling knowing that you are given the chance to help people. It's also a good time for casual chit chat among team memebers about whatever thoughts befall them.

"What should we do then?" the crowd asked.
John answered, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same."

- Luke 3:10-11

I've taken up the whimsical hobby of carefully analyzing fellow bus-riders to do sketches of them later on. I think I shall be posting some -- if they're any good -- soon. It's surprising how very interesting the normally mundane can be with the just the right amount (and that's a lot) of observation. It's fun to make calculated guesses as to the personalities of others by just watching their mannerisms from across the aisle, though nothing beats first hand conversation in terms of accuracy. I am a public menace. I know of at least 3 or 4 people I've probably scared by staring intently at them for several minutes on end. God's creation is just too fascinating to pass up.
Today, as I was waiting for a friend after school (one of my 'say-dong's, Kishon), another friend ambushed me and cupped hands over my be-glasses-ed eyes from behind. Just by the two different scents on her wrists, I knew it was my friend from last year's french, math, and english classes, Joce. We talked a bit about what was happening with ourselves as Kishon gathered his stuff. It turns out our friendship wasn't totally killed with that little verbal altercation we had over the summer, which was somewhat of a relief. I would later learn of Kishon's intense -- mock, hopefully -- jealousy, as he's always had a... shall we say 'soft spot' for my friend. I reassured him that Joce was like that to every one of her friends, but jealous boys will be boys. Kishon's great, always up for cheering me up with his random comments and more-often-than-not humorous pokes at my/himself. He's also quite proficient with sexual innuendos, if you were wondering.
Today I also learned first hand of God's provision in all things, even to the tiniest details. Let me explain: there was a pizza lunch scheduled for today. Knowing this, I decided on not bringing a lunch to school. Oh how mistaken I was. It turns out that the promised pizza was not to come until after school.
So now I'm stuck without food and drink, starving to begin with. Thank God for friends, especially true friends like Shivon. After hearing of my misfortune, he offered me half of his sandwich. Declining this, I borrowed a dollar fifty from him for a chocolate bar (that I would end up not eating for lack of hunger). Unwilling to accept my hunger for what it was, he very kindly gave to me a large portion of apple slices prepared for him by his mother. What a friend.
Thanking God for the friend and food, I partook in the kind offering. If this wasn't enough, another friend -- not actually, more like acquiantance since we don't normally talk that much -- that I had talked to about her problems the other day -- only because I had felt moved to inquire about it -- offered me her second beef patty in math class. God always manages to provide -- and not always/almost never through the most logical/expected means.
I also talked some stuff out with a good friend this week who made me feel all the more reassured of God's presence here with me. It's kinda strange and almost sick, but God used the same stumbling block for the both of us so we'd have someone to relate with. I'd say that's another example of God using the messed up to His glory. Can I get a "w00t!" for God? ^-^
And those were the highlights of this past week.

EDIT: Yes Sherm, I have noticed that too. My first sandwich run two years ago was pretty... interesting. The second wasn't so cool as we didn't find that many people, though perhaps that's a good thing -- meaning they were out of the cold and hopefully somewhere warm.

info @ the P.Pole 11.22.05

i woke up this morning to realize that i dreamt in french. anothing thing to add to my list of "Random/Freaky Talents/Forms of Retardation That I Am Capable Of".

5 stupid things people (including me in some cases) do that i don't understand:

• low riding - i don't do this one, simply because it really is stupid. it limits the range of movement of my legs, not to mention low riding may leave key parts of your body exposed. this should be taken in extra consideration as it is growing cold and frostbite on such sensitive areas can be fatal.
• not study - i'm very guilty of this one. to be unprepared for a test is like walking into a cinema without... your eyes or something. okay, bad example but you get what i mean. sadly enough, i've not got the motivation or the proper know-how as to how to study. my mind likes to skip around from flower to flower, never dwelling too long on one subject, which makes for a slight case of ADD.
• wear make-up - what can i say, i wear make up. everyday. mounds of it. jokes aside, this stuff is gross. not only does it not REALLY make people (i won't say "girls" as now there really are men who wear the stuff) all that much pretty, it's actually horrible for your skin, making them even more dependent on that gross stuff. i believe most girls out there would look better (dunno about their insides) if they didn't plaster themselves with artificial crap all the time.
• waste money on Xbox 360 - i'm not guilty of this one. may the Lord deal ever so severely with me if i were to ever purchase one of these. enough said.
• put instruction labels on shampoo - i'd not have them on there if i were the maker of shampoo. seriously, the next person who does not know how to use shampoo deserves to be burnt in the eye: "oh... put it on your hair BEFORE wetting it. i see now." what? like they're gonna leave it in and not rinse OR repeat if you don't tell them? or maybe if they're lucky they'll put in their eyes. "ouch it burns. a lot. now i know not to do it again." it would waste my money as a manufacturer to print the labels.

talk about stupid, i am very. all i've got are these lyrics to give you.

We write to apologize.
We ask to look past life as it goes by.
I know you have sacrificed time,
life, love, time to fly.
Please consider all things trite,
Forgiveness will be the thing that gets us by.
I know to have something like this broken,
Is hard to fix.

Embers, we're burning bridges down.
Envelopes stuffed with feelings found.
To write this down as means to reconcile.

We write to patch things up,
Maybe not to agree but to proclaim love.
Let's look ahead and then we'll see the One,
Whose glory never ends.
And based on that we'll see,
There'll be room for change, but gradually.
I know to have something like this broken,
Is hard to fix.

If all is said and done and over,
If we don't have to, we're not going to.
[I'll] Make the change, it's worth the try.
What's broken can be fixed tonight.

- Mae, Embers and Envelopes

Emo Lvl. 2/4 - Whoever said...

..."Relient K isn't emo." was horribly mistaken. Oh don't worry, I'm not really feeling all that emo right now - at least not to me. Then again, the last time I judged myself (i.e. five seconds ago), I said that I didn't feel excruciatingly lonely. That sets me at 0 for 2. I'm the biggest loser in the world, which explains why I'm always last place everywhere. I sure hope I've never made anyone feel the way I do now, though I already know I have.

Excuse me, but I've got a request.
Could you take the gag off of my mouth?
I admit, that I'm fairly impressed,
'Cause you're the best at blocking me out.

I believe, that we weren't quite done.
I know it's hard to hear me out again.
I realize, you're not the only one,
Who's terrified of life from end to end.

Hey hey, can you hear anything I say?
I'm feeling unwanted; that's not what I wanted,
And attention to me is something you refuse to pay.
'Cause I just can't believe the way,
that this continues to go on.
I say, "I wish you didn't always think I'm wrong."

So tell me, tell me what will it take,
To get this through your head.
And tell me what will it take,
Until you see things through from end to end.

Excuse me, but isn't this the way,
That things always turn into something good?
You've tried to, ignore the things I say,
But in the end you found you never could.

Hey hey, can you hear anything I say?
You search for the short-cut, you live life but for what?
I love you and hope you will find the truth some day.
'Cause I just can't believe the way,
That this continues to go on.
I say, "I wish you didn't always think I'm wrong."

So tell me, tell me what will it take,
To get this through your head.
And tell me what will it take,
Until you see things through from end to end.

So tell me, tell me what will it take,
To get this through your head.
And tell me what will it take,
To get you on my good side again.

And tell me what will it take,
To get this through your head.
And tell me what will it take,
To forget what you knew,
Just let him find you.

And then you'll see things through,
From end to end.

- Relient K, From End to End

While I'm quoting Relient K, I might as well quote some other lines.

"Maybe it's them, or maybe it's me. Or maybe it's Maybelline."
(Maybe It's Maybelline) - No one ever wins the Blame Game, so why do I want to play?

"You're the only One that understands completely. You're the only One who knows me yet still loves me completely."
(I Am Understood?) - Agreed.

"And I won't sit back, and take this anymore, 'Cause I'm done with that. I've got one foot out the door, and to go back where I was would just be wrong. I'm pressing on."
(Pressing On) - "Vent radioactive gas?" | "No." | "Meltdown imminent.".

"The way that girl can break a heart, it’s like a work of art ... Live your life for those you love ... And I'm still waiting for you to be the one I'm waiting for."
(The One I'm Waiting For) - The acoustic version of this song really brings out the emo vibes that were always hiding in this song.

"And even though I'm angry I can still say I know my heart will break the day when you peel out and drive away. I can't believe this happened."
(Which to Bury; Us of the Hatchet) - This would be a shameful way to die. Hurting, but I'm scared to even think of the brand new world of pain death would bring.

"All because you're giving me a breakdown. Stuck on the side of the road; emotional overload. He'll seek and destroy everything that I enjoy but I won't be the one he takes down. No, I won't breakdown."
(Breakdown)

"We see the problem and the risk, but nothing's solved. We just say, 'Tisk, tisk, tisk,' and, 'Shame, shame, shame.'"
(Down In Flames)

"It seems to get much colder when you cry on your own shoulder ... I'm trapped and I am enclosed but I won't complain ... He tries to be a better someone that understands the difference and that he can't show all the people all the things that really mean as much as he could feel ... To be a better friend. To be a better son."
(Jefferson, Aero Plane) - "It doesn't count if it's with yourself."

"Should I start this song off with a question, or should I say what's on my mind? (Add a cello here to add a sad impression). 'Cause I'm not looking forward to leaving my friends all behind."
(My Way Or The Highway...) - Don't get me wrong, I know I should be thankful to God for giving friends - at all - but sometimes I just feel a bit too alienated from them to truly be a friend of theirs; more of an acquaintance by their actions.

"I was thinking (overthinking) about exactly how I'm not exactly Him. I'll break my heart in two more times than you could ever do ... On a one track mind, and You're so out of touch 'cause I'm so far behind ... 'Cause after all of the sparks you're still alone in the dark."
(Overthinking) - Wow, talk about dead-on.

"Jesus, I pray: just know what I'm tryin' to say. Jesus, I plead: please purify me, make my heart clean, drench me with Your mercy. Jesus, I pray: I love You, I need You. For the rest of my days I swear I will seek You. To the best of my ability I'm practicing humility, and I lay myself before (You), 'cause less is more."
(Less Is More) - Humility is something I need. I'm sorry for all this. I really am, so I'll try harder - the next time I'm smashed, kicked, and hurt by dear and scarce friends - to not complain about it, to shut the Hell up, and to turn the other cheek and take the beating like the sack of crap that I am.

Please Rub the Sleep from My Eyes

"Hey dickhead, wake the f*** up."
"...Just a little while longer."
"There's no time for sleep. Get up or miss the ***damn train."
"What? I... I can't... get up..."
"Yes you can. Now if any bit of you is still a man, get the **** up and go!"
"But... I feel like grap..."
"Who cares?! That's not important now! The important thing is you get up and get out there!"
"This is really happening isn't it...?"
"No s*** dumbf***. But you can stop it, if you want. Do you?!"
"No s*** dumbf***. But I... I can't seem to break this... I'm so sleepy..."
"You can drink some coffee or I can beat some sense into you. Or you can sleep and let it slip through your fingers again."
"...This isn't the last time, is it?"
"Who knows?! Who gives a s***?! What's important is you pick your-f***ing-self up and you get the Hell out there and prove yourself. Every time. Bar none."
"...Think I can pull it off this time?"
"If it were up to just you? Yeah, I know you could probably do it. ...But this kinda thing depends on both of the sides."
"I certainly didn't get out of bed to go down again without a fight. I'm gonna give em a run for their money this time."
"Good man. Make me proud."

---

You sure know what scares me. That was just what I needed. So teach me through example as I learn to smile again.

EDIT: P.O.D. lyrics for Set It Off.

Our time has come.
Set it off.

Rise, let your spirit fly.
Rise, stand up for yourself.
Rise, hold your head up high.

Our time has come.
Set it off.

...
We made it this far don’t you quit on me.

- P.O.D., Set It Off

EDIT: And... wait for it... wait for it... crash.

Find My Way

I don't know how to let You go.
I've given to You all of me, all that I'll ever be.
We share the same heart and soul.
I want You to believe in me.
See through my eyes and you will know,
I'll take my chance that you will come home to me.
Even if it takes some time for you to work it out,
I'll be there.

I still got a ways to go.
So far away from home.
Inside I always knew,
I would find my way to You.
Find my way...

If I could be everything You want.
If I could change everything that I have done.
Only You know where I have gone.
I want to prove I am worthy to be called Yours.
I need You more than I ever have.
And I don't want to stay, try and find me if You can.
If I get lost along the way, please don't foget me.
Know that I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll find my way to You.

- Payable on Death (P.O.D.), Find My Way

Emo Lvl. 5/8 - Emo Music for Emo Hearts

The phone slips from a loose grip.
Words were missed then: some apology.
I didn’t want to tell You this.
"No, it’s just some guy she's been hanging out with...
I don’t know, the past couple weeks I guess..."

Well, thank You and hang up the phone.
Let the funeral start,
Hear the casket close.
Let’s pin split-black ribbon to Your overcoat.
Well, laughter pours from under doors.
In this house, I don’t understand that sound no more.
It seems artificial, like a T.V. set.

Well, haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh.
This weight it must be satisfied.
You offer only one reply.
You know not what you do.
And you tear and tear your hair from roots
From that same head you have twice removed now.
A lock of hair you said would prove,
Our love would never die.
Well, "Ha ha ha."

I remember everything:
The words we spoke on freezing South Street,
And all those mornings watching you get ready for school.
You combed your hair inside that mirror -
The one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears.
Something about those bright colors,
Would always make you feel better.

But now we speak with ruined tongues,
And the words we say aren’t meant for anyone.
It’s just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance,
But there was once You.

You said You hate my suffering.
And You understood.
And You’d take care of me.
You'd always be there.
Well where are You now?

Haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh.
The plans were never finalized,
But left to hang like yarn and twine,
Dangling before my eyes.
As you tear and tear your hair from roots,
From that same head you have twice removed now.
A lock of hair you said would prove,
Our love would never die.

And I sing and sing of awful things.
The pleasure that my sadness brings,
As my fingers press onto the strings,
In yet another clumsy chord.

Haligh, haligh, an awful lie!
This weight would now be satisfied.
I'm gonna give You only one reply:
I know not who I am.

But I talk in the mirror,
To the stranger that appears.
Our conversations are circles.
Always one sided.
Nothing is clear.

Except we keep coming back,
To this meaning that I lack.
He says the choices were given.
Now You must live them,
Or just not live.
But do You want that?

- Bright Eyes, Haligh, Haligh, a Lie, Haligh

info @ the P.Pole 11.13.05

another one-day-early list post, just because i doubt i will have any time to blog much in the coming week/becuase i am severely bored right now.

5 things i'd be glad to do in the coming week:

• win the metro-semi-final game of volleyball
• win the metro-final game of volleyball
• spend some kuality time with some friends
• get some good sleep
• get some good eat and drink

EDIT: bonus list! i'm particularly lonely right now, so here goes, a - that's right - second list in one week. lucky you.

5 things i've secretly (well not so secret anymore) fallen in love with:

• Loacker - i like the way it tastes in my mouth. it's like an orgasm on my tongue!
  
• Mae and Bright Eyes - i like the way they taste in my ear. it's like an orgasm to my ear!
  
• Cucumber and melon cream - i like the way it tastes in my olfactory senses. it's like an orgasm in my nose!
  
• long, straight hair - i like the way it tastes in my sight. it's like an orgasm in my eyes!
  
• fabric softener - i like the way it tastes on my skin. it's like an orgasm all ov - ! you get the point!
  

wasn't this EDIT simply orgasmic? ...orgasm. not ORGA-NI-SM. orgasm. teehee. i said a naughty word.

The Fight

Death and decay now lay within: staining, disgusting.
Fallen enemies - the damnèd spectres,
Ghosts from yesterdays - wouldst release me not. Bastards.
'Fend myself, I strained to; failing, ailing.
Sight I lost so fall I didst, crashing and bleeding.
Poolèd bloods, mine own now seeps forth. Like a
Snail with sanguine trail, I wouldst die from the wayward
Step that may befall upon my stampèd
Corpse. The blades and teeth my own body they tear to
Shreds, like red confetti thrown to wounding
Winds that lift my form, in its rent and destroyèd
Form. My innards lay before mine eyes for
All the world to view. I am broken and spent. So
Black and dark are hearts when demons roam free.

My friend, give not to the winds of the world. Fight on, pressing forth. No surrender. Hang in there, the Reinforcement is coming.

Feed The Cut

Feed the cut, and get in line.
To live and burn, is tug-o-war.
Rape.

Go back and forth, until it's learned.
To suffer now, or nothing's gained.
Then wake within, a freezing sweat.
Push and pull, collecting doubt.
Starting seeds.

**
Lost inspiration, panic on the rise.
Cutting on the rise, a severed attempt ignored.
Rape.

The reason never, outweighs the truth.
So backing up, and lean against.
The Liars' Club, come in shame.
Wasting farther, collecting doubt.
Starting seeds.

So hand it off, don't care enough.
'Cause ignorance, is in blissful reach.

Lost inspiration, panic on the rise.
A severed attempt ignored.
Lost inspiration, never played the game.
A severed attempt ignored.
Feed, the last head trip.

- Chevelle, Tug-O-War

Lots to do. Here I go.

For The Moments

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus.
When the world around you crumbles,
He will be strong, He will be strong.

I throw up my hands,
"Oh, the impossibilities!"
Frustrated and tired,
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly.
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear.

I think I can't, I think I can't.
But I think You can, I think You can.
I think I can't, I think I can't.
But I think You can, I think You can.
Gather my insufficiencies and place them in Your hands.
Place them in Your hands. Place them in Your hands.

- Relient K, For The Moments When I Feel Faint


I think I'm finally ready to start liking these guys again, though I don't think I'll never be able to love Relient K as much as I once did after that "Be My Escape" fiasco.
Speaking of which, thanks for not ditching. I am much in your debt.

info @ the P.Pole 11.07.05

5 things I expect will be happening soon:

• radical reform
• someone[s] receiving a not-so pleasant surprise in the form of a fist / palm-heel driven into their face at a constant velocity of (bone breaking) km/h [towards head]... there's science in the real world for you, put the application of violence
  
• gaining more expectations
• growth spurts to take over again; I think I'm overdue for another expansion
• my studies to take a turn for the better as the volleyball season is almost over
  

Shakespeare's Lark

English is indeed my most favouritest course this semester. I can't imagine what I'll do next semester with out it. I especially like Shakespeare's poetry - mostly blank verse. Richard III (which I'm studying now) is written in iambic pentameter and I really do find it amazing how closely related math and peotry are. I had learned the different "feet" of poetry the other day along with the x-meters. Fun stuff. I think I've got another pro for reading the Bible - you'll pick up, very easily, the many Biblical allusions found in literature - e.x. in Shakespeare's stuff - which makes my life easier when being asked to identify/explain certain literary devices used in quotes from the text (for tests). Lovely.

Richard yet lives, Hell's black intelligencer,
Only reserved their factor to buy souls
And send them thither. But at hand, at hand
Ensues his piteous and unpitied end.
Earth gapes, Hell burns, fiends roar, saints pray,
To have him suddenly conveyed from hence.
Cancel his bond of life, dear God, I pray,
That I may live and say the dog is dead.

- Queen Margaret, Act 4, Scene 4, lines 71-78

This is a good quote. We've all got a Richard inside that really needs to die.

It is my Lady, oh, it is my Love!
Oh, that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?
Her eye discourses, I will answer it --!
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
Oh that I might be a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!

- Romeo, Act 2, Scene 2, lines 9-24

This is just a flashback to last year's study of Romeo & Juliet. I actually had to memorize the entire soliloquy - that above is only a little more than half of it - to pass ENG-1D7. Of course, I think it's got more meaning now. It's pretty self-explanatory. I think I just totally exploded all my readers' (all two or so of them) cliché-dars, so I'll take it upon myself to buy you all new ones. I find it really easy to use other people's words to describe personal stuff, just because if something is taken in a less-than-intended way, I could potentially blame it on the original speakers. I'm wussy like that. Yay for emo lyrics and fancy poetry.

EDIT: Shut up! I know how to cite... Oh the very indignation of this broils my innards! :P Just kidding, but I'd rather ignore convention on the P.Pole. My blog, my rules.

Jesus says Give

(click title for Ringer's PV page)

I'd give you angels' wings.
I'd give you airplanes.

So you, can be, always, with me.
No light, without, you here to see.
Never, don't leave, alright, for light.
It's all, we got, it's all, we need.

I'd give you, I'd give you everything.
I'd give you, I'd give you anything.

...
And if you ever fold, I'll be there for you.
And I swear we'll be okay, as long as we are true.

- Ringer, Angel's Wings

EDIT: there went the last couple hours of my weekend. i must now find other things apart from furniture and home-decor to talk about with else-ones.

Hey You!

Merry November the Fourth, everyone!
Uh... yeah!

Here's a throwback

...to the olden days of grade six.

Crawling in my skin. These wounds they will not heal.
Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real.

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing.
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending.
Controlling, I can't seem...

To find myself again. My walls are closing in.
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before, so insecure.

Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me.
Distracting, reacting.
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection.
It's haunting how I can't seem...

- Linkin Park, Crawling

Now, I know what you people might say. "Linkin Park?! Tsk tsk. How 1990's." Well, I just realized, upon hearing this one song out of my 640+ songs on my playlist, that these guys are kinda emo. They're emo, and screamo. Maybe not uber populat, but it worked for their target audience of self-proclaimed angry 11-13 year-old teenage boys back then. *shrug* I like how Siu Tahm Guong Dong Wah makes a direct reference to Linkin Park when they talk about putting some "Leenkeen Pahk" as background music for a basketball fight caught on tape... Anyway, late starts are kinda fun.

Blood Brothers

So I've been reading up on God and Him being Our Covenant God. That's the name of the book I'm reading, written by a female author (Kay Arthur). I think it was Herman that pointed out how he though female writing is highly digressive, and I must say, I do concur. Sentences like "I can't wait to share ______ with you, beloved." keep popping up. I mean, it's a decent book on an interesting topic but goodness, stop warning me that you're gonna say something of bearing and say it already.
Anyway, today has been quite a day. I started off with devos in the morning (actually managing to not wake up semi-late today). My school day kicked off with a science quiz, which I think I scored quite well on. Then we - my desk partner and I - received our projects back (from a month ago) and we both ended up getting 100% after he did a bit of bartering on his part. Then there was lunch, where a good friend of mine and I played some more football (undisturbed, today) outside, along with some other friends. Next came my math unit test (which is going to be the final mark to add to my midterm mark) and I do believe I did quite well on that. French was boring as usual, but I got out early due to my volleyball game. Our team lost the first set by a mere 3 points to come back and murder the other 2 sets. That's quarter finals done. One to semis.
Yesterday was a day on which I was helped out/backed up/stood up for by a great friend. Today was my turn. My friend (Shivon) came - no, more like ran - to help me out yesterday, and I thank God for friends as true as him, straight as an arrow. Today, during the volleyball match, my other great school friend, Kishon, was getting agitated. You see, he likes this girl, this girl that many other boys - our peers - like. As you can guess, the other boys are all over this little girl that he's taken some fancy to, but being the shy/sly/ulterior person that he is, he could only curse under his breath at he who was, and I quote, "molesting the living **** out of" his girl buddy. I, being the heroic, emotionally uninvolved friend that I try to act like, stepped up and promptly yelled (across the entire double gymnasium) "HEY *name of molester*! GO HOME!" This caused him to look up at Kishon and I and take a visible step back. S'right. That is the... sheezy heezy; myvoiceiswheezy.

EDIT: Can I get a big "YOU SUCK! GO HOME!"? How about a "GO DIE!" for humanity? : P

Emo Levels

As the P.Pole tends to fluctuate quite sporadically in terms of emotional intensity, I've decided to employ an Emo Level rating / warning for the more... extreme posts. I've taken this precaution as I kinda figured my posts can be quite... abrasive and abusive sometimes.

Range (Lvl. x100%) >> Definition; example.

0% - 25% >> Mildly emotionally unstable; ex: "I had a bad day, and am needing to rant."
26% - 50% >> Moderately emotionally unstable; ex: "I had a horrible day, am needing to rant badly, and my friend(s) bad-mouthed me behind my back."
51% - 75% >> Highly emotionally unstable; ex: "I had a bad week, am needing to rant, my friend(s) stabbed me in the back; thus, I am now severely depressed."
76% - 100% >> Extremely emotionally unstable; ex: (we'll just have to wait and see for this one)

Capice?