hott.

well, i got my bass and amp on the 28th, and i must say. not the least bit disappointed. very awesome. i've been learning bass lines and licks here and there for the past day and probably for the rest of my summer-life at home... i was thinking of getting my bass in pure white, contrary to my previous notion of something along the lines of "sexy-bad-ass'd-navy-blue-bass" but, turns out they didn't carry any white ones. so, luckily, i settled on my original choice of blue, marked "Metallic Blue". turns out to be more of a deep, deep blue that even looks purplish in the right lighting... awesome. i've been wrecking all the pads of my sinister hand; they have been decidedly removed by abrasion. fun fun fun.

the far-sighted race

isn't it funny how we humans can invest multi-million - possibly billion - dollar budgets into comparatively trivial projects such as searching for extra-terrestrial lifeforms or inventing new and fabulous ways at self-annihilation as a species, when that same money could be used to end world hunger or other fanciful ideas that select indiiduals have so romanticized about. we are a funny bunch.

info @ the P-Pole 06.27.05

well, the first info-list of the summer... and what a time summer is. a time for mo-liu to the max so...

5 mo -liu things i like to do:

• ring my own doorbell and pose as a salesmen, but my mom always knows... i think she sees through the peep-hole...
  
• hide my cats' toys around the house and time how long it takes them to find it...
• play the staring game with strangers on the bus
• borrow my friends' stuff and not give it back, counting the days until they realize
• watch movies again and again until i can watch it on mute and voice the lines myself...

good God, i'm such a loser...

viva italia.

so i was IM-ing the other day, right? and i come upon this "so-and-so has added you to his/her contact list" message. turns out someone i don't know, at all, has added me to their list... first thought, "what the hell?" as in "how did they get my email?". second, i think, "maybe it's not what it seems... who'd want to stalk me of all people anyway?" as in "i wonder if maybe i know them, but i just forgot..."
so we start talking. now, some of you more worrisome of character out there may have just clucked your tongue or shaken your heads at my seemingly stupid choice. well, i was quite careful at first, as one should be when approaching strangers, especially true concerning identities on the internet.
well we got talking and she tells me that she's a Christian girl about the same age as me who hails from italia. apparently she studies in Canada... we talked for a long time. i think if she is who she says she is (and i really hope that that is the case) then i've just made a very, very profitable, chance encounter, if you get my drift *nudges reader*. anyway, i don't know about this... i'm trying to play detective and so i have been trying to find even the slightest clues about the authenticity of her remarks about herself and her background. so far everything checks out pretty well... i sense death by bias... all i can say for now is that the girl in her display picture was quite the looker.

ready. set. go.

like many young males (i do not know about the females) i know of, i have decided to working extra hard at avoiding becoming a fat, lazy couch-potato this summer. as a result, i've decided to start running laps around the neighbourhood in my immediate vicinity. fun. very fun. in fact, i think i'll take herm's advice and do the whole of sandhurst circle and not just a quarter of it.
3..2..1..GO!

dead leaves and the dirty ground

dead leaves and the dirty ground
when i know you're not around
shiny tops and soda pops
when i hear your lips make a sound

thirty notes in the mailbox
will tell ya that i'm coming home
and i think i'm gonna stick around
for a while so you're not alone

if you can hear a piano fall
you can hear me coming down the hall
if i can just hear your pretty voice
i don't think i need to see at all

soft hair and a velvet tongue
i wanna give ya what you give to me
and every breath that is in your lungs
is a tiny little gift to me

i didn't feel so bad 'til the sun went down
then i come home
no one to wrap my arms around
wrap my arms around

well any man with a microphone
can tell you what he loves the most
and you know why you love at all
if you're thinking of the holy ghost

-the white stripes

purversion

our eyes met. she strolled leisurely to my side, grazing my leg. her slender body, slightly reposed to one side. she looked at me with large, orb-like eyes that yearned for my touch. trying to resist proved too much for my frail willpower; thus i stretched out my hand, fingers quivering with anticipation. there we paused in a moment of utter limbo, my outstretched hand about to touch her curvaceous body...
it was a moment of pure love when i first laid my fingers on her skin. she felt warm and vulnerable under my touch. she could resist it no longer and she signaled for me to proceed with the unspoken language of her body. i placed my hand, cupped, behind her head and stroked slowly yet deliberately. i moved my hand down towards the small of her back, while my other stroked at her soft cheek. this time, i knew where to go. i knew just what she wanted, having performed this task for her so many times before. i understood her wants and desires. my fingers, moving on what seemed to be instinct, drew slowly to her "special spot" which i had discovered to be most potent some time ago.
she was, naturally, unshaven and my fingers began to go through their well practiced routine, stroking, probing and pleasing her. almost immediately she was racked with wave upon wave of orgasmic pleasure. she collapsed onto her side as i worked my magic. seemingly oblivious to her reaction, i kept a steady, almost relentless pace as she made noises of comfort and enjoyment. and just like that it was over; my cat loved every bit of her scratch.

how it's made.

"On this episode, CD's: compact tools that store about any kind of digital imformation, white glue: the sticky stuff that keeps your crafts in one piece, and... love: that tantalizing feeling that most people think they know but don't."

I think that would be one hell of an episode...

Karl the Pineapple: Episode 6

So Karl the Pineapple slept and soke up to the sound of Sundae giggling to herself. He asked her what she was laughing at and she replied that it was the way the wind was blowing: like a playful kitten. She pulled on his hand and they were off to build a spaceship. Karl went to the Saina woods and Sundae skipped into the Rainforest. They agreed to meet up at noon to show what materials they had gathered to build the rocket. Karl went quietly and Sundae danced and sang to one of her favourite songs. She liked the wa-wa solo.

Sundae brought back with her palm leaves, sap, feathers pf parrots, dirt, and orange juice. Karl brought metals and nuts and bolts and fuel and seatbelts. Sundae threw them all off the cliff that conveniently appeared beside the two friends. She then proceeded to build the rocket. It was finished when orange coloured cardboard was taped to the back as an imitation of fire. He asked how on Earth was it supposed to work and Sundae replied that it wouldn't work on Earth. She pointed to a giant tomator with a weasel beside it.

"We have to climb it; then we can talk to the Venutians."

Karl gave her a sceptical look but continued to trudge along beside her.

almost done

summer has come, and i'm almost done. almost done a year at school. almost done my exams and almost done etc... another thing i'm almost done is with my habits. almost. not quite. i don't think i'll ever be. i guess i'm stuck being complacent for the rest of my life. i'll always be settling for second best to Someone Else. that's just how i am. there's no changing that. or is there? it's just the way i am to be too lazy to find out.

info @ the P-Pole 06.20.05

hehe.

5 things i remember about the past year:

• Shivon's outbreaks (esp. on the Niagara trip).
• Alicia'th thuper bad-athh lithpe, enough thaid.
  
• Kishon's pimping of the masses.
  
• Joceline's ballet slippers.
• Carl's... damn.

i guess i am lame.

awesomeness

so my dad, comes home from his bi-week/fortnight business trip to malaysia this morning, at around six. i wake up around, say, eight-ish and come out to find him unpacking his luggage in the living room. for those you who've never been to by place, it looks like this.

anyway, i come out and i see him and my mom talking, as he pulls from articles of clothing to bundles of DVD's out of his suitcase. he says to me, "Carl, I got you some things I know you'll love." My dad then whips out two printed tee's: a grey Von Dutch tee and an orange Diesel tee. kick ass. and to boot, he also brought back, on DVD, movies such as "Madagascar", "The Terminal", "Hostage", "Million Dollar Baby", "Star Wars: Episode 3", "Kingdom of Heaven", "Hitch", the "Rambo trilogy, "King Arthur", "The Aviator", the "Die Hard" trilogy, "Miss Congeniality 2" (WTF?), "The Interpreter", "Sin City", "Unleashed", and the list goes on...

the lesson here is, since several of those movies are STILL IN THEATRES... MALAYSIA RULES. sherman, now you know you have to come over and watch movies and game this summer.

Last Christmas...

...I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special.

Item #1

i want a bass. a bad ass'd bass. a blue bad ass'd bass. a navy blue bad ass'd bass. a sexy navy blue bad ass'd bass...

ready for a row?

so it was a fine tuesday afternoon when my day was so horribly interrupted by some punk-ass'd bus driver. here's how it all played out...

i boarded the public autobus of the fine and dandy TTC at the stop at Victoria Park and Cassandra. as usual, the good 'ol 3:30 was dependably packed with sweaty, sticky, irritated, teenage kids.
"get behind the white line. i can't start the bus until everyone gets behind the line. if you can't fit, get off the bus." the driver said this with his right hand impending my insertion of the ticket (already in my hand) into the conveniently placed slot. thus, being the good, abiding citizen that i am, i started to make my way between my somewhat "built" friend and a large african woman in order to fit.
"why do you do that?" the driver asked, grabbing my arm.
"what? waht am i doing?" i replied, puzzled.
"trying to walk by!" the accusation stung with a resounding silence throughout the bus.
"what the -?! fine. here," i said as i deposited my fare. "transfer."
he handed me a transfer as he added, "that's dishonest, man. it's stealing. why would you do something like that? why can't you pay, just like all the other honest people here?"

i, being the wrongly accused, rode out the misplaced shame and that bus with much seething and contempt. i mean seriously. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL. idiotic-pidgeon-stool. i hope he doesn't take his dissatisfaction in his work out on kids like me everyday. incompetent camel-loogie. i should have taken his ID down and filed a complaint to the TTC board to get that ass-clown fired. or better yet, pwn him with my Kage-Bunshin-Katon-1000-Years-of-Pain-No-Jutsu.

info @ the P-Pole 06.14.05

isn't it funny how when it's cold, we humans try to stay indoors to escape the cold and when it's hot, we bunker down in our homes to keep cool? not really. just goes to show that we live fairly sad lives. complaints fly to and fro regardless...

5 things i plan to do this summer:

• hacky my sack 'til it's got no more hack in it (hacky sack that is, not "self-hanky-panky")
• buy a new hacky sack
• tour Asia while picking up bootleg merchandize for all along the way
• hibernate
• read a little, game a little, run a little, play a little, it's all good.

...okay, so not exactly 5 things, but whatever. here, you know what, if you don't like my methods, here's something constructive you can do: eat my Dusclops' Leftovers.

dead disco.

Skip town. slow down
push it to the east coast
Step down turn around
push it to the west
Need less, use less
we’re asking for too much I guess
Cause all we get is…

Tits out, pants down
Overnight to London
Touch down, look around
Everyone’s the same
World wide, air tight
No one’s got a face left to blame
And all we get is…

Dead disco
Dead funk
Dead rock and roll
Remodel
Everything has been done.

I know, I know you tried to change things
I know you tried to change
I know

- Metric

Karl the Pineapple: Episode 5

She started to cry and he asked her why. She said that sometimes it was overwhelming to be extremely different. He didn't say anything but her weeping soon carried her off to sleep.
She was on her back looking at the setting sun when Sundae told him they better hurry or they would lose and Karl interrupted her as he told her about how Tin Tin and his dog got in a rocket and went to the moon. There was a mystery to be solved there. Kalr liked telling this story to her; she listened and enjoyed the childish tale and he didn't feel at all ridiculous for telling it. They talked until stars shone in the navy sky.
"See that star right there?" she asked.
"Which one? That one or that one? Or maybe that one; you know, there ARE millions of them..."
"The twinkling, bright one."
"That's Polaris." he said.
"No, it's Karl the Pineapple. I named it for you." She beamed.
"Um, I don't think you can do that Sundae..."
"Why not?! I just did! Now you have a star named after you." she said.
"Well, thanks. I'll name that bright one over there Sundae."
"No, you can't. That's Venus."
"Well... then..." He grasped at straws for something to say.
"How 'bout we go to visit the Venutians and ask whether we can name it Sundae?"
"In a rocket?!"
"Yes."

info @ the P-Pole 06.06.05

seems i forgot about last week's post but oh well.

5 things i'm afraid of:

• giant gila monsters with prehensile you-know-whats (and by "you-know-what" i mean tongues)
  
• dying old, fat and underappreciated
• ending up in a coma
  
• winding up blind, deaf and mute
• waking up to find myself in a McDonald's burger
  

whatcha doin'?

Oh nothing, just building my nuclear submarine!! KIRIGAKURE is born!! [insert evil laugh]! i'll rule the world!! today Paris, tomorrow -- um, the WORLD!! [insert hysterical laugh]! measuring approx. 210 mm in length and standing a whopping 150 mm high, this monster boomer carries enough nuclear payload to wipe out almost all my lego sets and gundams on my display shelf! weighing in at almost 1000 grams, this leviathan will strike fear into the hearts of those who oppose me! possessing massive striking power, and armed with the latest weaponry (ballistic Q-Tip missiles with a range of up to 1000 mm), nations will tremble at the very sight of it!! WATCH OUT! you better not cross my path or i'll have to bomb the hell out of you! that's right! BOW BEFORE ME, ALL HUMANITY!!

well, not quite. there's no need to fear, unless of course you do not fulfill at least 5 of the following criteria:

• you are hot
• you own a gun
  
• you are bigger than me
• you know martial arts
• you are proficient with a machete
• you are homophobic
• you smell nice
• you have, in your possession at this moment, a female reproductive system
• you have food for me
• you like relient k
• you think i'm cool
• you carry a firearm of sorts