i keep getting the feeling...

...that God means to put me in solitary confinement, possibly as His oh so just punishment on my soul for being a failure all my life. yet He's still God, and who can blame Him? no one. in the end, whatever becomes of me will inevitably be much deserved. not that quiet and solitude usually bug me, but it seems that whenever i want to have company, to have companionship, to be able to share something special, some sort of intimate connection of minds and hearts with others, i fail. miserably. and it's never someone else's fault, it's all in my head. it can't be everyone else if the only recurring factor is me...
prepare yourself for teenage, angsty cliche: "no one understands me." well, as far as i can see, no one but Him. then again, a lonely life would only be one lacking God.

I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."

- David, Psalm 16:2

someone please prove me wrong, lest i am left to meander alone.

Where're your friends?
Where're your friends?
Where are your friends, man?
What? What? Where're my friends?

All my friends are dead.
All my friends are dead.
You got kicked in the head,
All my friends are dead.

All my friends are dead.
All my friends are dead.
You got smacked in the head,
All my friends are dead.

I always knew that they would
end up like today.
They bought the bullet and they
paid with hand grenades.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

All my dreams were lies.
All my dreams were lies.
Nightmares in disguise,
All my dreams were lies.

All my friends are dead.
All my friends are dead.
You got dragged outta bed,
Now they're buried and they're dead.

I always knew that they would
end up like today.
They bought the bullet and they
paid with hand grenades.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Fuckin' hey!

I always knew that they would
end up like today.
They bought the bullet and they
played with hand grenades.

Now they're buried and they're dead!
Dead!

- Turbonegro, All My Friends Are Dead

when will my silly heart learn? humanity blows.