Trouble In Paradise

so i've been busy - i had volleyball try-outs/pseudo-practices since last thursday for the school volleyball team and it turns out i don't suck as much as 12 of the other 24 guys that tried out. freakin' awesome. i remember wanting to be on the team, but not wanting to look forward to making it. i didn't want to be disappointed/shamed. but in reality i did want to make it. more than i let on at first.
well anyway, i just remember days of suck, and how i used to depend on God to deliver when the suck really hit the fan. then i read my name on the list of people who made the team and i thought/believed that my life was on finally taking a turn towards becoming one of those oh so deceptive "lives" that i see other people toting around. funny how selfish we humans are, running to God when we "need" Him and abandoning Him (even if it was just for a second) when we "don't". thing is, we always need Him, 'cause once we think we've got it down, he will bring us down. and He'll let him. it was humbling indeed. strugglefications. how remedial my struggles must seem to God...
"if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. if you still don't succeed, do what you should've done at the start and hand your controller over to God and watch Him pwn."
- me, can't you tell?!
and another...
"fell in love with the game, but i forgot Your name. go ahead, please fight me. 'cause i'm not scared. though You stayed the same, i forgot from where i came."
- Blindside, Fell In Love With The Game