absitively

well, lately (after the intense practicing for Coffeehouse and HSC) i haven't been playing my bass quite as frequently. luckily, what little proficiency i had before has not dwindled to nothing. i picked up my bass and started playing some random songs i liked - that is, "Angel Without Wings", "Skin Like Winter", both by Zao, and "Absolute" by TFK. they turned out to be surprisingly simple and i am proud to say that i can finally jam along to my TAoB CD.
no one's online right now (no one i'd like to talk to in particular anyway) and so i'm quite bored. i do believe i'll start another drawing soon. it seems like i've been doing a lot of them lately (more than usual, which is none). i better get all my creative juices flowing again before i take on school again. good thing i keep posting these random posts on the P.Pole. the good ol' Pole is always up for listening to me blither and blather on about the latest development in my short life. it keeps the mind turning.
writing is quite enjoyable for me, and from what i've heard (i.e. other people's opinions that don't necessarily reflect my own), i'm good at it. *shrug* i think there are people out there that are supremely better than i at such things but that just means that i've got goals to work towards. i'm sure that being at the zenith of any game is quite lonely, and frustrating to not have anyone to look up to. i enjoy writing very much though...
see, when school rolls around again, i'm led to start thinking of why i'm doing all this. why go through school and perform all these seemingly (and sometimes, most definitely) benign tasks? to learn i guess. and if that's one of the few things i'm asked to do, i better not do that half-booty'd. oi... time to work hard.
it's strange, i see people around me and at a glace (well, a little more than a glance...) and i can see several very good, and very likely outcomes. an engineer, a social worker, a lawyer, a programmer, a teacher, a missionary, the list goes on and on for the ones around me. then i look at myself. blank. i can't be this because it's boring. i can't be this because i'm bad at it. i really do wonder what God is gonna turn me into... and then He says that patience really is the thing i need. patience to wait on Him, patience to deal with others, patience to deal with myself.
in the end, i'm kinda getting the feeling that i'm going to be something... of a hybrid of many different things, like i'll have a little bit of everything to do in my line of work. but what kind of a job is like that?! i mean, it's relatively easy for people with very specific goals and passions in life. when i think about myself, i have no particular goals of my own, i've no overpowering passions - i.e. i'm pretty much spread out everywhere, i like everything. that's almost as bad as hating everything when it comes to making a decision. maybe i'll be a hobo, like someone i know suggested.
well anyway, enough of that random off-topic-ness. the important thing is that i can play "Absolute".