entranced...

"thank you God." was my first thought. from the very moment she walked in, i knew that i'd want to know her better. with a dancer's elegance and calculated movements she flounced by, her thigh just barely grazing my elbow, causing the hairs on the nape of my neck to stand on end. as i ventured a glimpse, i witnessed beauty and features rivaling those of a goddess, a face chiseled from the purest, most awe-inspiring of diamonds. her eyes were so deep and vast that i thought i had drifted off into the outermost limits of space, doomed to drift forever in the endless nebulas that are her eyes...

"oh wow, how big and pretty your eyes are!"

"the better to hypnotize you with."

"my, how graceful your movements are!"

"the better to charm you with."

"mm... how luscious the fragrance of your hair is!"

"the better to intoxicate you with."

"my God, how dazzling your smile is!"

"the better to blind you with..."

and so the conversation in my mind continued until my thoughts were wholly consumed by her image. being the partial introvert that i am, i decided to sit quietly as she worked her voodoo and enjoy the moment.

as time went by, i reluctantly fell into the "friend" category, a denomination i had vowed to outgrow. the more i learned about her, the more i wanted to learn. conversations with her became like a drug to me, always craving more. and soon i realized, i have fallen into this woman's enticing snare.

what is this feeling i hold in my chest?! could it be... yes, it is! but alas, i mustn't let the beast control its master. i must regain consciousness. i must hide this monster and shackle it to my heart to hang there as a burdening weight much like an anchor, lest he break free and cause havoc and destruction on such a fragile liaison...

the perfect mix of grace and beauty; of brains and brawn; of mind and body... when she skips my heart follows suit, when she laughs i hear angels' song. how can i endure not confessing my secret attachment to her?! must i always resort to indirect, double entendres to voice my thoughts to her? oh why have the heavens cursed me so? to be able to love in secret but not in the open... i must declare, this is punishment unfit for a condemned murderer yet i am the one who must carry out this life sentence. must i bring with me this affliction wherever my feet fall? where is the justice in this pale world of ours?

oh if only you knew.