Dear God...

"hey God."
"hey son. what's up?"
"oh nothing much, i guess..."
"youu never were one to just come out with it. always beating around the bush..."
"that's not true! i can be very straightforward when i want..."
"and youu aren't with Me? c'mon, tell me what's going through youur head."
"who knows? well, You already know, don't You?"
"yeah, but tell Me about it anyway. how are things?"
"oh, just dandy i guess. i just died the other day, remember? yeah, that was great."
"yeah it was. I'm glad youu're suicidal."
"well, only 'cause You said so."
"youu do know that now the tough stuff starts, right?"
"...yeah..."
"yeah."
"well, what have You got planned?"
"you'll see. oh My, how you will see!"
"You mean we?"
"yes, you."
"awesome. ...so what's it like?"
"youu mean what's going through My head right now, right?"
"well, yeah. funny how You always know what i mean before i even speak."
"I'm God, I know youu inside and out, but hm, well, I'm not too sure I can tell youu right now, son."
"aww c'mon! why not?"
"all I can say is that youu're in for one heck of a ride..."
"man..."
"...and I don't promise that it'll always be fun."
"yeah, i've noticed that You never did promise fun..."
"well, not for now anyway, right?"
"yeah... well, the afterparty better be sick."
"oh don't youu worry about that. leave it to Me."
"i'm trying my best."
"that's My boy. now, about youur two hearts..."
"two? yes, them. thank You for them. i really don't know what i'd do without them... wait, You're not going to make me choose are You?!"
"Heavens no! rest assured, youu'll need them both. I gave youu both of them for a reason, y'know."
"yeah i know... You always do stuff for a reason. so what's the low-down, Big G?"
"watch it kiddo."
"sorry..."
*ruffles hair* "aww, I could never stay mad at youu. youu're My kid."
"hehe, so yeah, what's going on? whatcha up to?"
"well, see, I've been thinking -- actually, I know -- that you kids need some alone time. y'know, some time to... what's the word? ah, yes, 'chillax.'"
"oh, yeah... that's good i guess... i dunno."
"what? youu don't sound too thrilled."
"well, that's 'cause i'm not thrilled by it..."
"aww c'mon, youu're a big boy now."
"yeah, i know... but i dunno, something doesn't feel right being alone."
"haha, what a stupid kid I've got! alone?! never, My son, never."
"well, i know You're always here, but like..."
"youu don't wanna be apart. i know exactly what youu mean."
"yeah."
"i made youu that way, y'know."
"yeah, but did You have to make it so extreme? it's gonna suck."
"only if you let it!"
"what if i can't take it?!"
"youu won't be able to. I know that already."
"aww man, i thought You said..."
"c'mon son! youu can't take it, but we can! it'll be fun, just youu and I! We'll have Ourselves a great time, just playing ball and telling campfire stories."
"but i only know the stories You've told me already. You already know my stories..."
"so? I love hearing youu tell them anyway! you're so unpredictable. that's one of the things I love about you."
"...You love me?"
"what a silly question, of course I do! ...what? do I act like I don't?"
"of course not! i guess it's just most of the time... i don't know, i don't really hear it, Y'know? You don't tell it to my face sometimes..."
"My dear boy! just look around youu! check this out. do you know how many molecules are in youu?"
"no."
"well I do! I also know what your favourite colour is! I know what youu like on youur salads and what youu like to wear on rainy days. I know what youu're made for -- I made youu, afterall -- and I know what youu're capable of. i know youur soul like the back of youur hand, which is very, very well."
"wow."
"yeah! now stop speaking nonesense!"
"question. what about..." *nods* "You know."
"I know a lot of things -- everything, in fact. what about..." *nods* "?"
"well, i mean, i tell YOU that i do...but..."
"but youu wanna tell the world too, right?"
"yeah... but knowing me... well, i'm unreliable, Y'know?"
"no youu're not. I know youu know what youu're doing, and I trust you."
"well, still, what about telling the world?"
"youu want My advice?"
"none better."
"well, keep it in. feel free to tell Me all about it, but don't say anything yet."
"You could just tell me how this is going to turn out."
"I could, but that would ruin the Game. you've got to trust Me. and right now, I know that if youu said something, well, I don't know how maturely it'd be received. heck, it could even blow up 'cause of youur rashness."
"alright, whatever You say... so... wait, then?"
"yes. wait. youu've got to wait on Me."
"..."
"yeah, I know it's tough. just stick with it. it might just be worth youur while." *mumbles and rubs nose*
"haha, yessir!"
"youur enthusiasm makes me happy."
"so what's she like?"
"My, My, youu sure are curious today. isn't that a ways off though?"
"yeah, but You already know what she's like. You made her!"
"youu love her."
"don't You mean i will love her?!"
"no, youu already do. youu just don't know it. or maybe youu're unsure. and please, don't ever try to point out a 'mistake' of mine! I don't make mistakes."
*raises hands* "alright, alright, You win."
"nice, kind, gentle, pretty, and kinda weird."
"what?"
"youu asked the question!"
"oh! haha, is she? what about... well, do i know her already?"
"maybe."
"what?! c'mon! that's not fair!"
"actually, I am very fair. if I told youu now, I'm sure youur head's going to be in the clouds for months, and I need youur head on earth. I've got a lot for youu to do."
"that's true. alright, i'm gonna stop bugging You about that. You've got a universe to run."
"are youu doubting My ability to talk to youu while I run this place?! tell me, what are youu breathing right now?"
"air."
"and Who put that there?"
*hangs head in shame* "You."
"that's right! Me! and oh look, I'm talking to youu right now! wow! isn't that amazing!?"
"alright, stop it! You ARE God, and You DO know what You're doing."
"that's right. someday, I'll let youu know. and she --" *looks around* "whoever she may be, will know it too." *winks*
"sounds good."
"yes, and then that day, youu'll know youu can tell her how youu feel. for now, keep it to youurself and I."
"alright. You better tape my mouth."
"can do." *tapes*
"mmmmph!!"