the worst dream i've ever had.

i was playing in the park, and you were there. i jumped, not for the toy, but for joy. i asked you to play, you politely declined. puzzling. i asked if you wanted to talk, and you started to walk. following suit, i began my pursuit. we strode along in symmetry, but only for a few strides. you stopped, so i stopped. for the longest time i stared at you, wondering, yet all the while knowing what was coming. it seemed inevitable in my mind, and you proved me right. you drew a deep breath, and smiled: i panicked. i stepped back, blinking away the fears. you grasped my hands in yours and your lips, they parted and from them came a shining bolt of judgment. this shaft of perfect make was perfectly aimed. it seems you know all too well where my heart resides. ricocheting off of my breast, it found its mark deep in your heart.
you stared at me blankly, the most anguishing of all pains i felt there and then.
"it's over." my world was inverted and i could hold on to nothing. so i ran. i ran from you, at breakneck speed, hoping to trip and break my neck to be done with this now miserable existence. i had no such luck, as my legs stopped on there own accord. i turned to see you, right where you were, still holding my hand. you had already weakened your grasp but i couldn't bring myself to do it, to break what we had. in a burst of rage, i ran towards you. with all my force, i threw my full weight on you, but you stood strong. vomitting, you smiled. struck with the horror of sudden realization, i released my hold. i took a step back and you were still smiling that eerie, out-of-body smile.
"thank you. you've proven me right." with that you left. i could only stand and watch you leave. lovelorn and forlorn, i wept.** such a grief had only struck - yet still not in such intensity - when, in a past world, i had lost a close friend and mentor to death. sickened with myself, i slouched and fell to the ground, prostrate. i didn't mind the impact of my bones, flesh and tissue with the concrete path... not in light my inner pains. that crushed my innards into a pulp that reeled with agony and aching.

and then i woke up moaning, eyes still moist from what must have been tears in my sleep. i lay there, paralyzed. "what if it wasn't just a dream, but a vision?" my pillow was my shoulder to cry on. i later looked up at the clock through watery eyes; it was four in the morning. i got up and felt my way to the washroom, still shuddering.